ebay-ing

I'm graduating in about two or three weeks and in order to get rid of all the junk that I've amassed over the last 4 years in college, I set up an eBay account. The experience of selling items on eBay can be very daunting for first users, I've realized. And it is not helpful that potential buyers treat first time eBay sellers (such as myself) with the highest level of suspicion as if included in the box, is not only my "Pre-Loved, Gently Used, LIKE NEW Prada Patent Sneakers" but also an envelope filled with anthrax powder just waiting to explode in their faces. And as a eBay-er with 0 credibility to my name, even if the words "honor" and "integrity" are mixed into my eBay user name, I've learned the importance of treating other first time eBay users with respect... or so I thought...!

I was well on my way of selling my second item, "Pre-Loved, Gently Used, LIKE NEW, ONLY WORN ONCE Gucci Sneakers", when I noticed that the highest bidder was a first time eBay user with 0 credibility. At first, I was opposed to selling to a first time user, because frankly we live in an ugly world and I've become very distrusting of people over the years, but than I thought, 'where's the love?' and with Marvin Gaye's song "What's Going On" blasting on my iTunes (Yes, I know that Marvin Gaye wrote the song to bring end to racism, but , if he were alive today, don't you think he would want to end the hate for first time ebay buyers/sellers?) I decided to send him a congratulatory e-mail (although it was honestly more like a where's my money bitch? e-mail). I was so shocked, when I got his replies. Here are excerpts from his e-mails:
"hellow even thow ii did manage to win the silver gucci sneakers ii want to buy both your silber gucci sneakers and your red patent leather pradas"
"o0ok ii will try and pay asap . . also fo you have any other shoes like these that you A willin to sell ?! if so then ii was thinkin mabey the more shoes ii could purchase from you then the more of an deal we could work outt"
I mean.. holy shit! ARE YOU F-IG KIDDING ME?!?! If Bush needed any proof of the failing education system in America, I could just present him with these e-mails, and I am sure he would declare code red right away. I know I'm no Harriet Beecher Stowe, or Gustave Flaubert (I read that he rewrote sentences over and over again until he got it just right), but what was this dude on when he was writing me these e-mails?!?!

I started hyperventilating after I started getting these kinds of e-mails. I was convinced that I've been duped by some false eBay buyer out to get people like me, who just want to make an honest living. However, I was wrong. He was actually really nice to work with (as in he paid right away), and I even learned to be not so suspicious of the world: that there are actually good people out there who just love sneakers although they can't spell to save their lives. Who knows, he might become my most valued customer in the future as I have 366660000023943820948209 more pairs of sneakers left to sell.